Does the thought of gathering with your family for the holidays make you feel stressed? The holidays are portrayed as a time of joy and family traditions, but for many people feelings of loneliness, obligation, and stress surface as the holiday season gets under way. Between the end of November and January,  Americans celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and New Year's. That is a lot of celebrating and honestly, all that holiday togetherness is not always easy.

I have talked with several people that are feeling stressed about the holidays and family gatherings this year. A client asked me for Feng Shui tips to make her holidays with family more enjoyable, easy, and fun. Even though many of her family members live in the same town, it seems that they only see one another during the holidays.  Many arrive to her home in a pleasant mood. It is not long until opinions differ and the silent judgements begin, which is  witnessed by the sharp looks on thier faces. As the  pleasant mood  fades it is easy to see that  every idea or thought becomes guarded. At first critical comments are spoken softly,  as if no one were listening. Soon the tension builds and the volume increases, until people are uncomfortable, a few people are visibly angry, and others just avoid talking to anyone. My client wants to use Feng Shui principles to create a peaceful and cooperative environment in her home. She also wants people to have fun


One way to reduce family stress during the hoidays is to evaluate the “family” area of your home and implement Feng Shui adjustments. There is an area of the bagua (Feng Shui energy map) that is devoted to family. This area includes current and future family members, family health, family harmony, ancestors, and unresolved family issues.  It is located in the middle, left side of our home. The items in this area of our home influence our current and future experiences of family.  It is worth a good look around in this area. What is there? What do the items in that area reflect about our family peace, harmony, health, cooperation, and fun? This is an excellent area to make Feng Shui adjustments for family peace, cooperation, harmony, and healing this holiday season.


What we think as we anticipate our family gathering influences what we expereince because our thoughts set our focus point, yes our foucs point determines how we see the situation.  As you think about your holidays what do you think will happen? Do you have a feeling of family togetherness? Is there open communication between family members? Is there a history of holiday chaos? And the big question,” What do you want?” Take a few minutes to imagine your family gathering just the way you would like it and then visualize it happening that way. Our anticipation sets the stage for our actual experience.  Once in the situation we make choices based on our focus point and expecations for the gathering. This holiday season is a place of great potential because we can create wonderful memories, have fun, heal old wounds, and feel appreciation for our family.


  1. Decide what you want, in as much detail as possible.
  2. Set an intention, see it happening, feel it as if it has already happened.
  3. Clear any clutter from your home, especially the area of “family” in the bagua. If you only take one action from this list, clearing clutter is by far the most important action you can  take. Clutter is the most draining force to any area of the bagua. Wherever I see clutter I know there is a problem in one or more areas of life.
  4. Do one good deed each day.
  5. Take time to fill yourself up. Our giving is much fuller when we give from the place of fullness. What makes you feel recharged? A walk in nature, listening to music, taking a hot bath, talking to a friend, reading a good book, meditating, going to the gym, or meeting with your Feng Shui Coach.
  6. Decorate the entrance to your home with lights and live plants.
  7. Decorate the inside of your home, especially the “family” area with lights, shiny decorations, live plants, candles, and if you have a Christmas tree the “family” area is a good place to put it.
  8. Use scents of the season, like evergreen boughs, mulled cider, frankencense and mhyrr, spices, peppermint, and others that you like.
  9. Energize the house before people arrive by burning incense, offering blessings and prayers, saying your intentions outloud in the room, and play uplifting music, or hire a Feng Shui Consultant to do a house blessing ceremony.
  10. Celebrate and treat yourself to a hot bath, a soothing massage, or a cup of tea. Congratulations on a job well done.
  11. Cleanse the energy of your home after everyone leaves to release any tension left behind by your guests.  Schedule a Space Clearing with a Feng Shui Consultant to release the energy of 2009 and uplift the space for 2010 to bring you good fortune, radiant health, and prosperity.






Feng Shui Tips to Reduce Family Stress During the Holidays
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2 thoughts on “Feng Shui Tips to Reduce Family Stress During the Holidays

  • December 8, 2009 at 6:39 am

    Hi Nancy
    Great writing on the family section for the holidays.
    I will not be seeing family this holiday, but it turns out that without planning it, I have my Christmas Tree and lights all in the area of Family in my Cottage. And it is free of clutter, and for a long time I have had a picture of my parents in that area. So thanks for the tips.

    I have had a semi clutter thing going on lately, and over the weekend I put more stuff into my storage, so I can feel the difference. Thanks for all your tips.

  • December 8, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    I am happy the tips are helpful. It is amazing how we set up our environment. Even though you won’t be with family this holiday, they are close to your heart.
    Peace and Joy

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