Think of a time when your inner voice was very critical of you for something.
- Not knowing what you want
- Not being able to make a decision
- You ignore taking action that you know will help you reach your goals.
- You feel paralyzed by fear and can’t take action.
Meet your inner critic. The Inner Critic is a powerful force within that tries to keep you from changing, even if you want to. Change brings uncertainty, and with uncertainty comes fear. The Inner Critic uses fear as fuel to keep you feeling small, overwhelmed, and confused.
Who is the Inner Critic?
The Inner Critic is an archetype, or inner character, one of many that influences your behavior.
Archetypes are invisible guides on your journey, and each one brings you gifts, lessons, and challenges. You experience archetypes as tendencies to act and think in specific ways.
Archetypes are universal patterns that every culture knows. Some examples are the mother, father, rebel, child, hero, victim, warrior, artist, seeker, teacher, explorer, detective, and healer.
When I say, “he is a good father,” you get a picture in your mind of what a good father looks like and know the characteristics and behaviors he would possess.
The Inner Critic is an archetype that is part of everyone’s cast of characters.
You might recognize your inner critic as the part of you afraid to pursue what you want. You might fear the changes success would bring. The Inner Critic strives for “perfection.”
You know when you keep fine-tuning something to perfection before you can say it is finished. The Inner Critic creates feelings of doubt, which lead to procrastination and to taking action that will bring success.
The Protective Function
Your inner critic developed early in life to help you stay safe, fit in, and avoid rejection or failure. Back then, it might have whispered things like “don’t speak up” or “do it perfectly” — not to hurt you, but to prevent embarrassment, punishment, or loss of love. It’s a survival mechanism, not a truth-teller.
The Mirror of Fear
Your inner critic often reflects your deepest fears: of not being good enough, of being judged, of failing. When you listen closely, it reveals what matters most to you. For instance, if it says “You’ll mess this up,” it’s really saying, “This is important to you — you care about doing it well.”
When you shift from fighting it to listening beneath it, that critic becomes a guide to your core values and desires.
The Invitation to Grow
Your critic can also point to areas of growth. When you catch it being harsh, that’s a cue to pause and ask, “What is this voice trying to protect me from?” or “Is there a gentler way to meet this need?” That’s where self-compassion begins — when you thank your inner critic for its concern, and then remind it that your adult self is capable of leading now.
The Purpose of the Inner Critic
The Inner Critic gives you the gift of seeing the many ways you undermine or betray yourself. Examples are saying you don’t know, procrastination, doubt, and perfectionism.
The Inner Critic can surface during times of low self-confidence, influencing decision-making. Low self-confidence leads to choices that limit or block your empowerment and success.
When you acknowledge the inner critic as a character within you, with a voice and an opinion, you will find it draws your attention to situations where you might be in danger of being criticized or of criticizing yourself.
When I became aware of my inner critic, the first step I took was to realize that her purpose was to keep me safe.
Then, I planned to let the inner critic warn me and let me be in charge of my thinking and actions. I like to think of it this way: I am a coach, and the inner critic is one of my players.
As the coach, I decide when to listen to and when to put players into the game. I listen to the inner critic, and as the coach, I make the final decision about how long to hear and what actions to take. It is always a choice.
Understand and Reclaim Your Power
Begin this gentle dialogue with your inner critic — not to silence it, but to listen, understand, and reclaim your power. You might want to grab your journal for this.
Step 1: Invite the Critic to Speak
Close your eyes and take a few slow breaths.
Picture your inner critic sitting across from you — maybe it looks like a stern teacher, a worried parent, or even just a shadowy shape.
Now ask:
“What are you trying to protect me from?”
Then listen. Write down whatever it says.
It might say things like:
-
“I don’t want you to fail.”
-
“I’m afraid people will laugh.”
-
“I don’t want you to get hurt again.”
Don’t argue or correct it yet. Just notice
Step 2: Acknowledge Its Intention
Even if its tone is harsh, there’s usually care underneath.
Say (out loud or in writing):
“Thank you for trying to keep me safe. I know you’re doing your best.”
This acknowledgment disarms the critic. It’s like telling a worried friend, “I hear you.”
Step 3: Reassure and Reclaim
Now, gently remind this inner voice that you are the adult in charge now.
Say something like:
“I’ve got this. I appreciate your concern, but I can handle this in a new way.”
“You don’t have to protect me with fear anymore — I can protect myself with wisdom and compassion.”
You might even visualize giving your critic a new role — maybe as a wise advisor who speaks only when invited.
Step 4: Integrate the Lesson
Take a deep breath and ask:
“What wisdom is hidden in your message?”
Often, the critic’s message holds insight about what truly matters to you — your desire for excellence, belonging, or love.
Write down what you discover.
Step 5: Gratitude and Closure
End with a simple statement:
“Thank you for sharing your concerns. I’m listening, and I’m choosing to move forward with kindness.”
Feng Shui and the Inner Critic
Want to know how you can boost your self-confidence and give the Inner Critic a voice in your life? Let’s go to your bedroom and do a quick Feng Shui evaluation of your self-confidence/inner magnificence area.
As you stand at the door of your bedroom, look into the room. The area in the bottom left corner represents your inner magnificence and self-confidence.
What is there? Beauty, clutter, broken stuff, or nothing at all? Is it clean and dust-free? Whatever is there tells a story about you and your self-confidence.
Want a boost in self-confidence so you can be your team's coach? Here are some Feng Shui actions you can take:
- Add beauty to the area. Put a picture on the wall that makes you happy. Plant fresh flowers in that area, or add an item that symbolizes confidence.
- Clear any clutter in that space. Maybe books, clothes, or old files need to be discarded.
- Remove broken items; they symbolize a fractured self-confidence.
When you learn to listen to the warnings of your inner critic from a place of self-confidence and implement Feng Shui adjustments, you can save yourself the grief of making the same mistakes over and over again. Be the coach; it is always your choice.
Nancy Dadami is an Intentional Creativity Guide, Feng Shui Specialist, and cheerleader for your dreams. Her passion is to empower seekers, conscious creators, healers, and entrepreneurs called to expansion, education, and freedom. This results in living the best version of themselves, creating a life of abundance, self-awareness, purpose, and inner peace. Subscribe to my newsletter to get the latest information and inspiration HERE. Check out my Linktr.ee
